My father is chairman of the board of something, and while I am very proud of him I am also very disappointed at the way he fails to utilise the perks of his position.

Just this morning, he told me he was going to a board meeting and therefore wanted to have his breakfast early and his shoes polished and his tie straightened. He did not want to be late. Now I have tried in vain to explain to him about how being the boss means you are supposed to come late, but I am just not getting through.

We have all been to weddings and graduation parties and workshops and meetings where things would not start until ‘someone’ has arrived to grace the occasion. The rest of you are not people until Honourable arrives. And when he/she does, then you can begin to matter again – but only in your capacity as the attendees who clap and ululate for the honourable guest.

You will be lucky if Honourable has dressed to suit the occasion. Usually, they have to say they have come from somewhere else where they were hard at work and they decided to ‘squeeze you into their schedule’ because they care so much about you. T-shirts; sandals; a scruffy African shirt – anything goes. You are just so grateful to have Honourable at your function that you will overlook the way he/she looks.

If the organisers were crazy enough to begin the function without the invited guest (as if the rest of those present just wandered in off the street), then when Honourable does appear, the proceedings must be stopped so that we can all acknowledge his presence. We will clap for him and for his spouse and recognise his offspring too, if they happen to be there. Then when he has said a few words about voting for the right party, you can continue being festive. This is the reason we all want to be ‘big people who are more of people than the rest’.

I have tried in vain to explain these dynamics to my dad, so that one day I, too, can stand up and be introduced as the Honourable’s member of family. However, he is intent on being neat and on time, so I’ll serve the breakfast early and shine those shoes.

But seriously, people. Stop taking the population for granted. We understand that nation building is busy work, but if you cannot organise your schedule and be where you have been asked to be almost a month in advance, then why should we trust you with big things? After all, you are always bullying your way through the traffic; why are you never on time?

Published on Sunday February 14, 2009